Today has been one of those days. I don't know if this against protocol but I feel like maybe it will help my heavy heart. If anyone knows if it is against the rules to post photos of the parents please let me know. I will remove this blog entry immediately.
This Jesus loving lady has been the center of our day today. Let me walk you through it. This morning I awoke with my boys in my bed. They were still asleep and I was thinking about decorating the girls room in white wash barn wood and a touch of green. Very Cute.
Then we all got up, got moving, and started to crack the books. Then we came to living room to read together and a thought about the girls with their dolls that we sent came into my mind. Then my friend called. Her and her daughter were shopping for sunglasses for the girls. She wanted to know what the girls names are going to be...
My friend posts something on her myspace that proclaims an immense burden for Ethiopia and Africa...
Tears slide down my cheeks. And then the talking begins. My oldest son, who is 9, is crying. Hard. He asks some tough questions.
Are we going to tell the girls about their mom when she dies? This is their mom.....
They will be sad. What if they get mad at us out of their hurt? Then they rebel and do some really bad things. Don't tell them mom. I wouldn't want to know. Sobbing.
Doesn't the mom want to get better? Why does there have to be poor countries where people have no food, no medicine, nothing? This is a 9 year old talking.
I don't know. God has a plan. He knows all things. Our hurt wrapped in the joy of getting our girls is the strangest emotion yet. 
My day has resulted in my mom telling me how selfless our family is for doing this. That doesn't even touch this. I made this beautiful lady a 30+ page photo album of pictures of her and her girls and a few of us. I wrote a note inside. She loves Jesus. Mostly, all I could list was a word ending with a period. The fruits of the spirit were repeated many times. I made myself a copy too.
That is all I could do today.
love. joy. peace. longsuffering. gentleness. goodness. faith. meekness. temperance.
9 comments:
Praying for your family, Amber. Will also say a prayer tonight for the precious, beautiful woman you have featured in your post.
C.
Amber, sorry to hear you are feeling down today. This adoption journey can really take a toll on your heart! One day you'll have to share this sad information with you daughters but you're daughters are so blessed to have a birth mother that loved them and cared for them. This is something they can always hold on to and cherish.
Thanks for your comment on our blog. Our court date is May 20th. Maybe we'll bump into you in Ethiopia!
Renee
Amber, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Nothing about adoption is easy but very little is as worth while. God does have a plan for you and will only give us mountains in which we can climb.
Oh Amber, she is beautiful. I've been thinking about our girl's birth mom also. There are so many things I want to know about her, and I wish there was some way we could help the birth moms there. They know so much pain and suffering.. I will be praying for your girls mom. I know she will appreciate the album you have for her. Your family is in our prayers.
Amber, you are in our thoughts and prayers. We are also praying for the girl's birth mother.
Your a beautiful heart filled child of God - and I'm so happy to know you. Their mom is beautiful! You are going to be so happy you have whatever pics and info to share with the girls. They will want it sometimes and not want it at other times. It's hard to know when.. they'll direct you. And you'll wish you had more information.
Hold your guy, he is sensitive and we don't have enough of that! He will never - in his whole life - endure a smidge of what your girls have already experienced in their short lives. He probably knows that and yet can't understand it.... caught between being a kid and understanding life is huge!
My son is very cautious of cars - he told me many people have died b/c of them. Of course his acting like getting hit made me understand what he was saying. My daughter, (5 yrs old) not aware at all. We have to practice a lot of repetitive practice in parking lots. She's pretty good at holding my hand, or onto me if my hands are full. He's protective and knows.... that helps. BUT DO ASSUME NOTHING! Also - best advice I received all along the way is "NO EXPECTATIONS!"
so long....
She's a beautiful lady, inside and out. And your son is a very caring young man. Your girls will be blessed to have such great brothers.
Maybe this will help. Let me introduce you to Rebecca. She has adopted domestically, internationally (Ethiopia) and was adopted herself. Her birthday is today and she writes about her birth mother. It is an amazing perspective. I hope that your daughter's can grow to have such a healthy view of their birth mother and of you guys (their adoptive parents). Read her post here...
http://adoptioncubed.blogspot.com/2009/04/sacred-mystery.html
Thinking of you during this challenging time,
Theresa
Your son sounds like an amazing little guy. Is there anyway to help her? I dont know her situation, but in our case we promised ourselves if we could help our bmom thru a local charity/health care center we would if possible....we cant figure out why life is so unfair.
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