Well our Dossier and referral paperwork arrived at AGCI on Tuesday. Christy just called asking me to send a letter from our church stating our income..oops..I forgot that. I also have to ask one of our people to rewrite our referral letter, it just wasn't long enough..
I hope to send those items along with our scrapbooks and dolls to them tomorrow so that she can send off our Dossier to D.C.
I went to an "uppercase living" party over the weekend and I bought our kids names so I can place them above their beds. I'd like to ask your insight about changing your adopted childs name. We want to give them new first names and make their given names their middle names. What have you done? Or what are you going to do? Our oldest girl will definetly be old enough to understand what is happening. Maybe we should wait and talk to her about this? What do you think?
Praying for fast court dates for everyone!!
10 comments:
Our biological children have original first names and family second names. For our adopted children, we have been planning to give them original first names, second names for our families (just like the boys have) and then retain a birth name as a third name. Yes, they will have an "extra" name, but I've known non-adopted people who have more than the traditional firs-middle-last name combination.
Since at least one of our girls will probably be an older child, I would definitely want to discuss the matter with her first.
Hey Amber,
I think it's wise on your thought to talk with them if they're old enough to understand.
As parents it's natural to think of names for our children. I'm finding some APs are deciding to keep the birthnames upon arrival. The thought of having an extra name sounds like a good idea. Children typically like to fit in with their peers as they grow especially as teens and preteens; I'm sure the American name may come in handy.
That's a tough decision and I'm sure you'll get more clarity with time.
Good Question! some people like to change their new children's names for several reasons;
1. they want to Americanize them
2. They want to give them family tradition type names
3. They are trying to erase their background/culture/orphanage type associations of their past
Our Social Worker suggested that if they want to change their names that we could help them select a good one. It's possible that they want to Americanize themselves and picking "Spiderman" or "Cinderella" wouldn't be the best selection!
We aren't changing their names in honor of their Birth Parents and their own love of Ethiopia. Changing their names, for us, would be like taking away something that someone else gave them. It's hard to explain, but I "feel" they're names fit them nicely. M's name means "He is all Lord" and S's name means "Full of Peace"... how could I change those names?
People have asked me to consider changing their names b/c they have a hard time remembering them or saying them. (selfish reasons)
Have you checked out the translations?
We are planning to use B's first name as her middle name and give her an american first name. I have a lot of African friends that came here with their birth parents, and their birth parents gave them an american first name. When they are with their family and some friends they use their african names but at school and church they use their american names.
We haven't decided what to do for sure though. We've been saying her name so much, and we really like it so It's a hard decision.
A friend of ours and the people we just traveled with let their older children pick. They have a name they picked for them and let them decide if they wanted that our their Ethiopian name. One family is still in the process the other family the children (3) originally wanted their Ethiopian names but then were like no we want the names you picked
I did try to look up their names. I'm not sure what B's name means but M's means "sweet".
I def. see why you didn't change their names.
I did remember learning that its good to give them American names so they don't have to describe their adoption story to anyone who hears the Ethiopian name. It helps them feel a part of this country.
My sister just adopted 4 yr. old Ethiopian child and his African name was Nataneal and he was called Natty in the orphange...They are calling him Nathan and it took a while for it to stick...But slowly Natty went away and Nathan stuck...We're keeping our child's african name as middle name and renaming first name but she's only 9 months old so won't matter as much...So excited for you guys....kristi
We are transitioning our newly adopted son to a new first name. He is currently calling HIMSELF by both his first and Ethiopian middle names. Sounds kinda like Elmo... (Elmo likes Dorothy the goldfish.) We are all S's in our family and NEEDED to make him one of US.
Hi Amber! Our son was 7 months when we adopted him, and we did the four-name thing. We gave him a common Ethiopian name (Elias) that can also be an easy American name for his first name; we gave my husband's name as his second name; and kept his Ethiopian name (Besufikad) as his third name. He was so young it wasn't a big deal. However, when I got to Ethiopia, I had very strong feelings that we should keep his Ethiopian name. My husband and I talked about it for a long time, and I had a hard time beginning to call him "Eli" instead of "Besu."
It may be the same with you; you might get there and change your mind and become really attached to the Ethiopian name. But if your child is old enough, then talking with them about what they want is definitely the best bet. Oftentimes Ethiopian names "shortened" -- like nicknames -- can make the most beautiful names. Another idea is that you could keep your child's first name and give them an original name as a middle name ... but slowly start to call your child by the middle name and see how it goes. There are so many ways to go about names, and none of them is the "right" way. Just go with your heart, and everything will work out fine!
We are keeping our little girl's name. She shares one of your daughter's names...(the B one). (We got a referral the same day - your girls were sent out on the waiting child list. Interesting, huh?) Our daughter is a toddler so we felt like we wanted to honor her story, identity and name. She already has a nickname at HH that is Americanize and we'll use that one too. All of our kids have longer/biblical names that we have shortened...so she actually fits right in.
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